Angry Elliptical: Noun. The usage of an elliptical training machine, in such a way that you move as quickly and as hard as one can, as if the machine was taking the persona of the most infuriating person you know, and you just wanted to smash their @##$%$% face in.
Cruisin' Elliptical: Noun. The usage of an elliptical training machine, in such a way that you move in a sporty, peppy way, as you groove to your favorite She-Ra tunes.
She-Ra Tunes: Noun. Tunes that make you groove and make you feel like you too, are a superhero. (see She-Ra here for a more detailed description of what brilliant, chick-superheroes are all about).
Recovery Treadmill: Noun. Using the treadmill at 0 incline and slowly decreasing your heartrate after a good push.
I just got back from the gym and oh am I so beat. I worked it girl. All the way around the world. So, before I pass out, Here's my program:
5 Minutes warming up on the elliptical trainer. (Must get warm). 30 Minutes Angry Elliptical 15 Minutes Cruisin' Elliptical 10 Minutes Recovery Treadmill STRETCH
Right now, Angry Elliptical means working on level 4, at speeds between 5 and 6 mph. Oh, it is hard. I just stare at the time saying, 'only 6 more minutes! AHH! Don't throw up!'
Cruisin' Elliptical is working still on level 4, but between 3 and 4 mph, while rockin' it to Jamiroquai and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
Remember I said I wasn't sweating? Well, I don't seem to have that problem today.
What is everyone else doing to Kick their own A$$es?
I am 36 and have been overweight for most of my life. There are much better things that define me, but till I work on this weight, it is the stinky fart in the room. So, I write this to keep accountable, to find inspiration in others, to rekindle the joy in myself.