I have been a bit off since last Friday. I am just a ball of anxious energy, and all I want to do is run and hide from the gym. I have not kept up this week with my no 0 physical activity challenge. I did 5 minutes of nothing on Monday, and then, instead of going to the gym last night, I stayed home and watched 'Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants'. How old am I, 12? Next thing I know, I am going to be signing up for Miley Cyrus concerts.
As well, I just feel bloated for no good reason other than I am stressing and anxious. I actually feel like a round medicine ball of stress, and no physical activity or stretching or food is making it go away. I am a girl down without any crutch or mechanism to get herself back up. I have been struggling like this now for days and it is starting to really get me down.
In terms of food, I was horrid on Monday. I had a work dinner and they all wanted to go forRodizio. Ever do this? It is Brazilian-style, meat fest. Basically, it is an all you can eat meat buffet, except they bring the meat straight to your table. You even have cards on your table that are red and green. When the green card is up, the servers bring meat fresh from the grill straight to your plate. They only stop when you submit defeat and flip the card to red. So of course, I ate enough meat to make any carnivore proud. I didn't binge, but I did want to try all the different options. So, after 15 options, I definitely had too much and it has taken me days feel less gross. I have been eating much less meat and much more veg these days, so this was just a total tail spin for my health.
The scale did move this week. I lost .9 lbs, but it seems like a bittersweet win. I do not feel defined by the scale, but I am not optimistic about going through a period of being stuck. I just want some wins I can count and some consistent evidence that all this 'getting healthier' is paying off. My mini goal for today is to get moving again and also do some extra PA to make up for my two days of weenie-hood. For now, I will just pray that you are all having big wins and that my week will turn its head around.
I am 36 and have been overweight for most of my life. There are much better things that define me, but till I work on this weight, it is the stinky fart in the room. So, I write this to keep accountable, to find inspiration in others, to rekindle the joy in myself.