Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Selling Myself a Used Car

I have a visual of a cheap, leisure suited man..  sweaty palms..  spinach in teeth..  smarmy..  trying to sell me a bill of sale that just doesn't seem right.  Except it isn't a Car this time:  it is my fitness plan; it is my healthy food choices.

While I know I have done the research, planned all the best food choices in my cupboard, I still try to sell myself on that extra piece of cheese, one more dinner out with heavy gravies and sugary syrups, and staying home to watch reruns of House instead of running.  Why do I play such mind games with my health?  I am slowly.. no wait, not so slowly, killing myself.  It is insane. 

I try to knowingly kill myself because the evidence isn't immediate.  It is all smoke and mirrors.
I really worry about my ability to keep self control.  I like to think that I can do it and I am stronger and smarter and prepared.  I spend lots of $$ on fitness trainers and nutritional counselors to build that support mechanism... yet still I am weak.  I am one french fry away from a total food meltdown. 

May today bring some strength!


  1. Well, you're human. That's it. Most people don't even recognize what you've written here--so you're two steps ahead of the game.

    You've got the strength, you just have to dig deep. No one said it would be easy--famous last words--because it's not, but it can be done.

  2. Hope you're hanging in there!!!! Have you ever thought about going to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting? Maybe they could be your 'base' when you're feeling out of control and need some encouragement?