Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am not so ok-Pity Party

*i need to vent, so if you are tired of reading whiny posts, come back another time..  Cheers.*

I have been in a funk.  So, planning my wedding isn't so much fun.  My mother isn't happy for me and I can't get over it.  It is heartbreaking for me.  While I have surrounded myself with positive people, it isn't the same as having your mom on your side.

As for my eating, it has been horrible.  The stress has triggered all kinds of disordered eating.  It is odd this time though, because I know as I am stuffing my face, that I am doing something incredibly wrong...  and yet I do it anyway.  I find I start the day OK:  I eat a good breakfast, I have a cup of tea...  then at about noon, I find some sort of snack, and then dinner is meh.  I have no excuse.  I even prepare healthy choices so they are right in front of me, but I keep making a right turn into path of destruction.  Grr.  I have even let good food spoil, in favor of total shit. 

So, with this, so has gone my half-Marathon.  My lovely job has decided to send me to Singapore, despite time off of work booked, so I am going to miss my OBX Marathon..  I am really bummed.  I trained hard.  I feel defeated.  I am too bummed out to look for an alternative race.

So, I just weighed myself, and I am 223.8.  This just sucks.  No progress in weeks...  I need to snap out of this, but I am just not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Meh.


  1. Oh those funks are OVERWHELMING! Pity Party Poopers! I think you should do a Singapore 1/2 marathon...You've trained..You got started...Finish it no matter where you are! Hang in there girl.....

  2. Hey Missa,

    I totally know what you are talking about. I'm with you on the pity party. I hate whining and I hate being a whiner, but that's what I want to do. I'm working so hard, doing everything I know to do and the scale just stays the same. Can be so frustrating. INSTEAD of WHINING.....WE have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and plunge ahead and do what what are SUPPOSED TO DO. EVERY DAY!!!

    If your mom is bugging you. Ask her why she's not on board with the wedding. If she's someone whose word you can respect and she tells you something that you don't want to hear. Instead of blowing her off, really listen to what she has to say. We don't always know what's best for us and sometimes we need someone to help lead us in a healthy direction. Maybe it has something to do with you, or maybe it has something to do with her. I'm a mom with a married daughter. We go through so many emotions when our kids leave the nest and move on with their live. That means we have to move on with ours and it's hard. REALLY HARD!! Especially if you are close to each other. Anyway it's worth checking it out. Really listen to what she has to say.

    Today is a new day. Start fresh, don't look back to yesterday, it's over, can't do anything about it. Press on for today, make good choices. Get out and do your exercise. Be diligent today. Stop paying attention to the scale (I'm saying this for my benefit as well). Just do what you are supposed to do.

    I love what Jules said about the 1/2 marathon. Do it anyway!!!! It will help for the next race. You will have some time under your belt!

    Keep it up and keep focused.

    Man I so feel like a mom.

    I write these things with love!

  3. I know you said you don't want to look for an alternate race, but you SHOULD! You have worked for this...don't let anything stand in your way.

  4. Funks suck. Sadly I don't have much motivation to give you because my funk sucked it all out of me. At least I won't try and lure you with promises of weight loss skittles and vitamin packed, hydrating beer. Nope. Not me. :)

    Hang in there girl.

  5. I haven't talked to anyone on here in forever...and I feel like you guys are the only ones who understand. So, it's really good to be back.
    I had no idea you were getting married!!! Best wishes, girl! But I am soooo sorry to hear that your mom is not on board with things. I can't imagine being in your shoes. I know that having a mother's support outweighs all others, but try as hard as you can to remember that she loves you...she may just be stressed and feeling like she's losing her little girl...but she'll come around soon enough...and if not, just try to agree to disagree...focus on the love and support that you are getting from others...and more importantly, the love and support you now have from your fiance. And maybe it'll just come down to two different loves. Your fiance obviously loves you. And your mother always will. And they may not be on the same page or in sync with eachother, but they can still exist independently from one another. Try to focus on that.
    As for the junk me, I know how horrible it feels to do, yet we do it anyway. You're under a lot of stress. And you've come a long way. MORE THAN 60 LBS!!! Cut yourself some slack, girl...It's just a'll get out of it soon enough. promise.
    I'm also very sorry to hear about your marathon. But maybe after you're feeling better you can start looking around for another one.
    Even with everything else going on, just try to hang in there...forget the world...and get back to do that, and this funk will be long gone before you know it!
    You've got my support all the way!!!! I look up to you so much and I don't even know you...I KNOW you will power through this. You always do. Just keep up the hard work, and the numbers will soon follow.
    **BIG HUGS**

  6. Can you sit down with your mum and talk about about a compromise? Tell her you need her blessing, and as your mum, she needs to not nessesarily[SP?] be happy with your choice, but be happy in knowing that she raised a wonderful daughter who is smart enough to make an educated choice about who she wants to send the rest of her life with. And to be happy that her daughter is happy. Tell her that you guys can agree to disagree. At the end of the day, no man will ever be good enough for her little girl, But she needs to put her selfishness aside. This wedding is going to h appen weather she likes it or not, so she might as find something positive to appreciate about it so it doesn't leave a bad taste in both of yours mouth.
    Tell her that.
    [[HUGS]] :o)