Trying on Wedding Dresses

Tomorrow, I have a 3 pm fitting for wedding dresses.  I am really thinking about cancelling.  At the same time, I have been totally remiss in planning anything for the big day.  So, I feel like I should get on it.  It is hard to think about wedding attire when you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.  I need more structure and I have done anything but be structured.  The very idea of discipline has gone out the window and has been replaced with two weeks of jet lag and disordered eating while on a business trip, only to be home for 5 days so I can have turkey day (another day of disordered eating), followed by another stint on the road again.  I need to get in control.

As well, it appears that I am going to be out of work soon, unless I do something really creative.  I need to move departments and quick, because it appears that we are being outsourced.  I can't talk to anyone about it at work, which makes it even more frustrating.  I know I am not the last person to be in this situation, but it sure feels like it at the moment.

My fitness has been progressing OK.  I keep up with my training, thank god.  I did go to the gym while on travel as well.  The past two days have not been so great.  I have been sleeping and vegging.  So, tomorrow needs to be better. The rest of the week needs to be better.

I also am trying to figure out why I am not blogging consistently.  I think I am depressed.  I think I have to do something about it. sigh...